January 24, 2017

Intended for Intimacy

As the father of seven young children, my friend is accustomed to the looks and comments of strangers out in public.  Some are even brazen enough to quip things like, “Do you know what’s causing this?”  My friend is quick with the retort, “Yes, and we enjoy it too much to stop.” That typically puts them in their place. My favorite line is when he tells people he has seven kids not because he loves kids so much but because he loves his wife so much. People always laugh.

There would be absolutely nothing to smile about if his seven kids were from seven different mothers, three of whom were his sisters. My apologies for the quick turn into creepsville and dysfunction. It was necessary to make the point that sex is a good and wonderful thing within the confines of certain boundaries, in particular the boundary of marriage. Marriage is the life-long commitment between one man and one woman. Outside that context of fidelity, sex isn’t safe.

Those who read this column each month know I regularly connect health and wellness with living as our Creator intended. The reason God put sex within the confines of marriage is not because he wants to spoil the fun, but because he wants to spare us the pain.

There is much confusion today with regard to sex and sexuality. There is even more hurt, brokenness, shame and addiction. This is not the place to review our nation’s Puritan and Victorian past as it relates to the suppression of human sexuality as an evil. Nor is it necessary to detail what we all see every day: an over-sexed society where lust an exploitation are a multi-billion dollar industry and where perversion is reaching frightening levels under what can only be described as

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Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

Passion is the flammable fabric necessary for any romantic relationship to survive in the long run.

The danger is passion alone can consume you in its exciting flames just about as fast as it can abandon you.

Intimacy, on the other hand, takes time to grow and blossom, which when nurtured with genuine love and compassion eventually leads to commitment.

Sometimes, things really do turn out right, for strangers in the night.”

If you’re a die-hard romantic who still holds out for and believes in true love, nothing could be more important than having it and keeping it. When you have your health and you’re really in love, then you have a priceless piece of heaven on earth.

The Triangle Of Love

As you may already know, passion without love is nothing but pure infatuation. Infatuation is the state of being temporarily carried away by unreasoned passion or addictive love.

Passion, intimacy and commitment cannot stand alone.

Let’s look at the different forms of love, passion, intimacy and commitment make up . . .

  • If you have a sense of commitment and desire to make your relationship last, but you don’t have passion and intimacy you have only “the idea” of love or . . . emotional love.
  • Let’s say you’ve got passion and the drive to build a life together, but you lack intimacy . . . you have puppy love or fatuous love.
  • Alright, so you are in an intimate relationship and you are committed to building a future together, you’re like siblings, there is no fiery passion or erotic attraction involved . . . you have companionate love.
  • Have you ever fell head-over-heels with a friend? You’re enthralled in the arms of both passion and intimacy . . . you have romantic love.
  • Ultimately, when you have all three dimensions of intimacy plus passion and commitment you have it all . . . Congratulations, you have consummate love!

Sometimes we all get a little obsessed with finding our own “idea of love,” but experiencing love and wishing for it are as far apart as day and night.

You don’t need another philosophy or theory about love; you desire the experience. The real challenge isn’t in finding “true” love. It’s really only about removing the obstacles to love’s presence. That’s the secret.

It’s been said that love and fear are opposites, but I’m telling you today that true love has no real opposite. Once you remove the blocks to really loving, your life becomes an inspiration for others as you experience the intimate interconnectedness of life itself. For it is life that made love possible.

Fear is the lack of love and love is the lack of fear; they are irreconcilable.

The only mystery of love is for those who keep themselves cut off from it. Love’s purpose is to reveal your connectedness and give you a permanent sense of belonging — where there are no more illusions.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” (1 Cor. 13:4–7, NIV)

Love is the fearless knowledge of living right. Call a rose by any other name and it’s still a rose. So, though true love has many names, it’s the quintessential “experience” beyond words we long for.

Being in love is good for you in many splendored ways.

It’s a scientific fact that happily married couples live longer healthier lives than single people do.

Couples who express themselves intimately and passionately have fewer stress hormones according to the journal Psychosomatic Medicine.

It shouldn’t surprise you that having sexual intercourse, kissing and even holding hands has a beneficial biological effect on lowering levels of the “stress hormone” cortisol.

Chronic stress has been shown to weaken the immune system and promote heart disease, even a “broken heart.”

Give Your Sex Life Wings!

In dealing with the ups and downs of any relationship one of the most important things you can do is to find new activities to do together which create a positive feeling for both partners.

Sometimes we place too much pressure solely on intimacy or sex, which is a big reason why so many couples are having sexual issues. Great sex takes patience.  Having sex should never be a pressure issue; take your time to romance the flame of passion.

In fact, did you know “emotional factors” are responsible for nearly half of the male impotence issues in America? The other half has underlying health factors such as diabetes, circulatory problems or some physical trauma.

If you or your partner is suffering from sexual performance issues the best thing you can do, besides addressing your health through diet, exercise and lifestyle, is to introduce novel activities you both might consider to be intimate.

What if your level of sexual pleasure and performance is all in your head?

Bottom line nothing is less attractive than fear. Fear also releases the stress hormone cortisol, which reduces circulation, increases inflammation and wastes your source of intimate sexual energy.

Remember: Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

Here are 3 sexually attractive attitudes to help you men out there who know they deserve to be loved often:

  • Like your self.
    Women are turned on by men who like being men. It keeps you interesting and sends out a positive attractive message.
  • Be a fun lover.
    Women love to go out and play with their sexual partners, so go somewhere or do something together that’s fun.
  • Get what you want.
    Have a big personal goal that drives you and go for it.

Nothing is sexier or a bigger turn on than the mind. Learning to turn on your mind will increase your own sexuality and attract the intimacy you crave form your mate.

Did you know your brain uses 18% of the body’s energy intake while constituting merely 2% of its weight?

Most sexual problems can be overcome naturally using your intelligence, creativity and attitude. Truth is most drugs can’t even beat the placebo effect in the first place, which means if you “believe” you can or can’t, either way you’re right . . .

With a healthy attitude comes a desire for a healthier body. The “right” nutrition is important for sexual health because it energizes your brain, stimulates your nervous system and strengthens circulation.

The foundation for great sex is a healthy mind and body . . . here are some key vitaminerals and nutrients to help you enjoy incredible sex:

  • Vitamin A found in carrots, broccoli and sweet potatoes help produce optimal level of progesterone, which is an important sex hormone that supports libido (that sexy feeling).
  • Vitamin B1 found in sprouted grains, asparagus and pineapples is essential for optimal nerve transmission and energy production throughout the body, which is vital to increase libido.
  • Vitamin B3 found in avocadoes, sprouted grains and beans can enhance the sexual sensation, increase blood flow to the skin and mucous membranes, and intensify the orgasm!
  • Vitamin B6 found in vegetables, nuts and bananas helps regulate prolactin, a natural libido booster.
  • Vitamin C found in citrus, Camu camu and beets is used to help make beneficial hormones vital in sexuality and getting “turned on.”
  • Vitamin D found in mushrooms, eggs and sunlight helps you maintain a healthy and vigorous libido.
  • Vitamin E found in seeds, nuts and green leafy vegetables is a powerful antioxidant and is necessary for healthy cells, especially those involved in the sexual experience.
  • Magnesium found in cacao beans, spinach and nuts is important for the production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters and is a powerful smooth muscle relaxant.
  • Selenium found in parsley, brazil nuts and seaweed is a mineral vital for healthy sperm health. Nearly is stored and used in the testes and seminal ducts.
  • Zinc found in alfalfa, mustard and almonds is used to make testosterone and other sexual hormones. Zinc is loaded in the prostate gland and sperm more than anywhere else in the body.
  • Last, but not least, Essential Fatty acid found in black currants, nuts and cacao butter are needed to make sex hormones and store sexual nutrients to keep you in the game.

Bottom line is your “consummate relationship needs a constant balance between intimacy, passion and commitment, but without having a healthy lifestyle, a smart diet and quality sex, the triangle of love can collapse.

So, always make it a priority to romance your partner like you did when you were first dating and remember: great sex and romance begin while your clothes are still on.

Nurturing a healthy partnership isn’t just about pushing the right buttons, so don’t let your “sexual rendezvous” to become just another routine. Learn to overcome, be adventurous and have fun.

Learn how to nurture your passion, renew your intimacy and revitalize a healthier sexuality for the years to come.

SOURCE: Dr. Beate Ditzen of the University of Zurich in Switzerland, et al.

Martin Jacobse (The 7 Rungs of the Health and Wellness Ladder), a hearing and speech specialist of 30 years, was first inspired by the natural home remedies used by his Cherokee Grandmother. He has since expanded his interests into naturopathic, alternative and energy medicine. Excited to share his findings and close the gap between the medical profession and natural home remedies, Jacobse found a passion as an independent medical researcher and ghost writer, dedicating his life to getting the word out as a consumer health advocate for Barton Publishing. Jacobse spends his free time practicing the healing art of magnetic Qigong, publishing books and enjoying the quiet of a small horse ranch near the Tonto National Forest in Arizona.

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