Stress: Understanding the Forces That Shape Resilience
A short time ago while a passenger jet was climbing at 16,000 feet in the air, part of the side of the airplane blew off and they had to make an emergency landing.[1] The problem was that originally there was a door there, but the door was removed and filled as part of the fuselage. The large area had a lot of pressure. The inside of the cabin is pressurized to about 10 pounds per square inch. For example, the little windows in a passenger jet are about 100 square inches, that’s about 1,000 pounds of pressure, half a TON, on each window. That’s why they are so small. In the case of the blow-out, the large area was over 5,000 square inches, meaning there would have been up to 25 tons of pressure on that repair. That’s a LOT of force. It couldn’t take the stress, so it broke out.[2] Those who repaired the hole did not account for the stress involved.
In human terms, the concept is the same: as we have pressure to change, we have stress. The greater the external change, the greater the stress. It is not just the stress itself, but rather the body’s response to change that may cause us to break. Resilience is the amount of strength we have to withstand these pressures. Some are very resilient, being able to manage a great deal of stress without breaking, while others are quite fragile, not being able to handle stress. What makes the difference?
Distress
Bad stress, also known as distress, tears us down. Excessive stress can destroy, like the pressure pushing on that repair of the airplane; we can be damaged emotionally and physically by too much stress. Being in a car accident that stresses the bones too much causes fractures and does damage. Too many toxins create stress on the liver and mitochondria that can cause disease or death. Emotional stress can cause people to become depressed and anxious. Infections can overwhelm the immune system and cause permanent damage, or death. Many who have been in the heat of battles have become damaged from the trauma beyond the ability of the mind to heal and move on. It has been called many things, such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Gulf-War Syndrome in recent years, but it was also recognized by the Roman armies many centuries ago,[3] by the British in the Napoleonic wars,[4] and after the US Civil War.[5]
Chronic distress often requires intervention of some kind to achieve some measure of healing. It will not be a case of just managing the stress on our own. For example, broken bones often require the expertise of a surgeon to prevent permanent disability. Infections may need antibiotics. Emotional stress may create lasting problems that don’t just go away on their own, we may need help to overcome them.
Eustress
The way to become resilient to stress is to stress ourselves. Eustress is the stress we choose to do.
Though we do not always choose it, we can take stress that is given to us and learn from it. Life is naturally stressful, creating cycles of fortune and poverty, feast and famine, that allow us to grow and learn. What may be considered “bad stress” can be turned to “good stress” if we accept it and grow from it.
Physical stress can be very good, in fact, necessary. The astronauts in the International Space Station must take a great deal of time out of their work to stress their muscles with large rubber bands because they don’t have gravity to stress them automatically. If they don’t, they will have weak muscles and bones. For every week a muscle is not stressed, it will lose 4% of its strength.[6] We likewise require physical stress. If I go to the gym and stress my muscles, I am actually breaking down muscle fibers, and the body will build them up again – stronger. Stress makes us strong. Bones receive strength in the same manner. Many who have osteoporosis believe they can take a drug that kills bone cells and make their bones stronger, when all they really need to do is stress them with weight-bearing exercise such a running, walking, or lifting weights. This is good stress.
Good emotional stress is found, for example, in a family. It’s very stressful to be married and have children. It’s hard because things over which we have no control change daily. However, as we work through the emotional stressors, and sacrifice what we want for the benefit of others, we grow in love. I believe there is no better way to learn to love than to have and raise a family – because of all the stress it causes.
An understanding that stressful situations can be a time of growth is a good way to turn potential distress into eustress.
Foundation
Resilience to stress begins with a firm foundation. We all have a foundation that we rest on. It may be our money, home, abilities, job, people, family, friends, and so forth. Ideally, a foundation should be something stable because the loss of our foundation can be devastating. Most never recover – unless they find another foundation on which to build their lives.
For example, we may have a mother who loves us – no matter what! If we make mistakes and end up in jail, we still have that love. But if our mother passes away, we lose that foundation, which may cause anxiety. Or, if my foundation is on my physical abilities, and I have a stroke, it will cause a lot of stress, but if I’m dependent mostly upon my mind, the loss of physical ability will create a smaller amount of stress. For example, even with Lou Gehrig’s disease for 50 years, in a wheelchair, without even the ability to speak, Stephen Hawking was able to write books, teach, and use his mind to enlighten the world.[7]
Choose a foundation that is firm and unchanging. This will give you a great deal of resilience. You will be able to withstand a lot more stress if you have a solid foundation.
Control
It is when we have no control over aspects of our life that stress becomes a problem. When scientists want to study stress in animals, they put them in situations where they cannot get relief. Either they are trapped in a tube and cannot move, or they are on an electrified cage and are constantly getting shocked. The animal has no way out and becomes stressed. When we are in control of change, there is little stress.
Change is an inevitable part of life, and therefore stress is natural and normal. Moreover, most of the changes that cause stress are not in our control. Things happen despite all we do to control them. People change, people die, things break down, disasters happen. There will be many times where we feel trapped without a good way out. We cannot control everything, but we can manage our response to these stressful situations. When we take control of our lives we turn distress into eustress.
Avoiding Stress
I was on a roller coaster with my daughter. She was having a lot of fun, but I was stressed. I didn’t like it at all! The picture they took of us was telling. She had a huge smile with arms up in the air, and I had white knuckles on the bar in front with a grimace. My only thought was “Somebody stop this crazy thing!” When she wanted to go again, I reluctantly agreed, but half-way through I decided that I would not try to stop it, but rather try to make it go faster – and I enjoyed the ride – it was fun!
Many believe that if they could avoid stress, they would be better-off, but there is no way to avoid it. There are many doctors, therapists, and experts that tell us to avoid stress. I think this is misguided. I have seen that the fear of stress creates even more stress than it prevents. People who are told to rest because they have heart failure are not going to get a stronger heart, it’s going to get weaker until they die. A study done on bedrest for illness found that it didn’t help.[8] The recommendation from experts about stress may not be in your best interest. The roller coaster is going to do what it does on its track no matter how I feel about it. Stress is everywhere in life. Even lying in a hammock on a beach in Tahiti is going to be stressful at some point, at least when boredom sets in. Life is stressful because many things happen that are outside of our control.
Take Responsibility
A person who is starting their own business often works long hours. They live with constant change and problems. They may work every day for years, and then when they finally have a working business, they retire and have a heart attack.[9]This scenario doesn’t always happen, but there is a statistical increase in heart attacks after retirement. People assume that working long hours is stressful, but don’t consider that having nothing to do can be more stressful. Having a purpose is a wonderful way to create eustress. When we choose to do something, there is no distress. By being proactive, or choosing to do things, we gain control over our lives, and prevent, or relieve, stress.
Those things we choose to do to relieve stress include:
- Be responsible for yourself. Control yourself. Don’t try to control others.
- Have a plan, a reason, a goal to achieve.
- Live in the present. Focus on what is now, and not the past. Keep an eye on your goal.
- Be flexible. Change when needed.
- Look for what is good about every situation.
Taking responsibility is like “The Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This process of growth puts you in control of your life, which lowers stress.
Toxic Stress
We don’t often think of food as toxic, but we must consider that a large majority of the toxins in our bodies come from the food we purposely ingest. These toxins stress the body to a great degree, causing illness, fatigue, and aging. Most toxic illnesses are not caused by heavy metals, plastics, or industrial waste, but rather from food. The single most toxic substance in the world is table sugar and natural and artificial sweeteners. Four of the leading causes of death in the United States are either directly or indirectly caused by these toxic substances: heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and dementia.
Eating at night also causes toxicity. When we wake up in the morning the digestive system turns on genes that allow the liver to detox our food. This system goes to sleep in the evening. If we eat at night, toxins are stored in the fat, which stresses the body when the fat is used, and the toxins are released. For example, a common disease called “Fatty Liver Disease” is due to toxic exposure from alcohol, fructose, sweeteners, MSG, and/or eating late.
A good way to avoid this stress and toxicity from food is to have an empty stomach at night. Since the liver must process all the food that is ingested – everything we absorb must go through the liver for processing – it can only detox when there is no food being absorbed. The empty stomach also brings repair of the intestines, so you don’t get “leaky gut,” which allows toxins to go directly into the bloodstream without being processed by the liver. The stress of fasting is eustress, while the stress of eating causes distress to the body.
The Anabolic Metabolism
Healing can happen despite stress. Rather than avoid stress, we should use the principles of biology to heal physical stress. One thing we are not taught is how to repair all the damage done from our daily stress on our bodies. During the day we have a “catabolic metabolism” which is mediated by the stress hormone cortisol. This is the time that we break down our bodies, get wear-and-tear, and cause aging. There is no way to avoid this because it is how we work and get things done. If you don’t get stressed, you cannot grow. So, the key is not to avoid stress, but rather to repair the damage you do in the day, by sleeping every night. During sleep we have our “anabolic metabolism” to repair all the damage done during the day. For example, people don’t need knee replacements because they had too much stress, but rather because they didn’t repair the damage done. Avoiding catabolic metabolism is impossible, we only need to be anabolic every night to keep our bodies resilient to stress.
There are only two rules to have anabolic metabolism and repair your body every night:
- Go to sleep by 10:00 PM
- With an empty stomach.
That’s it. That’s how easy it is to repair all the physical stress in life. That is how to stay young and keep your body functioning and avoid the “diseases of aging.” Do I need to do this every day? No. Only on the days you want to rebuild, repair, and detox.
Do Hard Things
Since there is no way to avoid stress, the more important thing is to deal with it properly. Those who have strength can withstand stress. Thus, it is important to create your own stress. In the days when work required muscle strength, most people exercised out of necessity. Now, however, there is no need to stress your muscles. We have vehicles to do the work for us. We don’t need to walk or run. We don’t need to dig holes. We don’t need to do anything by hand because we have motors to do the work. Also, computers do the thinking so we can settle for passive entertainment and prevent any mental stress. As we do this, we grow weaker and weaker. People say, “I’m just getting old,” but really, they are declining in function because they don’t have enough stress. So, we are forced to create our own stress by going to the gym and actively seeking to become stronger.
Having extra capacity helps us to manage stress. We gain capacity by creating stress. It seems ironic that if I want to avoid stress then I need to create stress, but it makes perfect sense. If I need to lift 100 pounds, but I regularly go to the gym and lift 200 pounds, then I don’t find that stressful. However, if I never work out and don’t have the capacity to lift 100 pounds, then I could hurt myself trying. It is stressful when I can’t do what I need to do. We gain resilience in any area by taking on stress and doing hard things.
- It’s hard to start a business (especially after you have failed several times).
- It’s hard to go to bed every day by 10:00 PM.
- It’s hard to wake up every day by 6:00 AM.
- It’s hard to have a workout routine and stick to it.
- It’s hard to fast for 3 days every month.
- It’s hard to take all processed sugars and artificial sweeteners out of your diet.
- It’s hard to love those who don’t love you.
- It’s hard to go to school and get a degree.
- It’s hard to take on the problems of others and truly help them.
- It’s hard to adopt a child or become a child advocate.
- It’s hard to turn off the screens by 9:00 PM.
- It’s hard to keep an eating schedule of 2 meals per day at 8:00 AM and 4:00 PM.
- It’s hard to study every day.
- It’s hard to have faith.
Doing any, or all, of these things will give you resilience. You will have enough to spare. You will have extra energy to help others. You will be able to handle anything life throws at you.
Recap of Stress Reduction:
- Start with a solid foundation on which to base your life.
- Live with a positive outlook, look for the good in everyone and everything.
- Seek help for damage caused by excessive past stresses.
- Be proactive – create stress in your life by improving, growing, and learning.
- Turn bad stress into good stress by seeking growth.
- Be soft and moldable as stress comes.
- Stay in “learning mode” always.
- Let it be, don’t resist stress by trying to stop it.
- Live in the present, with a plan for the future.
- Love someone every day.
- Avoid toxic (processed) food.
- Eat 2 meals per day, 8 AM and 4 PM.
- Sleep every night by 10 PM.
By following these guidelines, you will be strong, and have a great deal of resilience. You will be able to tolerate a great deal of stress. You will not have a “blowout” when the stresses of life put tons of pressure on you!
Reading List for Stress Reduction:
- How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey
- The Four-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris
- The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
- The Circadian Code by Sachin Panda
- The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin by…
- The Holy Scriptures by…