January 21, 2017

A Waste of Time – Constipation

Welcome back, friends! It’s been a long day and it feels good to sit down. I’m pooped! Believe it or not, this month’s topic actually is… POOP!

Honestly, I told our editor Cheryl that I thought it was a crappy subject — but doodie calls.

Haste makes waste, so I will take my time unpacking this delicate material. Since this is paperless, it could be a mess… so I’ll just have to roll with it!

Now that I got that out of my system, we can finally move along.

First Movement

No matter how refined, prim or proper one becomes, there is just no elegant way to discuss poop!

Of course, we can re-brand it with words such as, excrement, feces, stool or dung but in the end, it’s still…poop!

Here are some cold hard facts.

  1. The average American excretes approximately 12 oz. of stool every day. That is a whopping 360 pounds a year, per person!
  2. Our poop is approximately ¾ water with the remaining ¼ being comprised of:
  • Dead bacteria
  • Indigestible substances such as:
    • Cellulose (or fiber)
    • Cholesterol (fats)
    • Inorganic tissue salts (like phosphate)
    • Live bacteria
    • Dead cells
    • Mucus
    • And trace amounts of protein…

Nothing redeemable here… no wonder we refer to it as waste (more on that later!).

  1. Its good if it sinks, bad if it stinks. A healthy bowel movement should be fawn colored, sink quickly and have a slight odor. Smelly stools mean a slow transit time leading to putrefaction.
  2. U.S News reports that 12 to 19% of American’s — as many as 63 million people — suffer with constipation due to poor diet and lack of fiber.
  3. The slang word “poop” came into use around 1900. It was derived from a middle-English word, poupen, which originally meant flatulence or fart.

Dear reader, although our bowel movements have become a “taboo” topic in daily conversation, nothing could be more natural or necessary.

How well would your automobile run if your exhaust pipe became plugged?

Like the human body, a well-tuned automobile burns its fuel efficiently. But, the consumed byproducts of the fuel MUST be eliminated properly or the performance suffers, spark plugs get “fouled” and eventually the car no longer functions as it once did.

Our inability to remove waste is commonly referred to as constipation and if it is not dealt with, will result in the body becoming toxic.

Second Movement

I am sure you have heard horror stories of people who died and the their autopsy revealed they had a large quantity of impacted fecal material lining their intestines.

  • It was rumored that the actor John Wayne had 40 lbs. of impacted feces in his colon. Although that was never proven, he did die of colon cancer, which can be the result of such an impaction.
  • Elvis Presley, the King Of Rock and Roll, was found to have 60 lbs. of fecal material present in his intestines when autopsied! Hard living, prescription drug abuse and a high fat grease laden diet certainly attributed to Elvis’s early death.

constipation reliefCommon sense dictates that if it goes in and doesn’t eventually come out, then you are headed for trouble.

As is customary with our monthly Home Cures That Work publication, a full spectrum of healing modalities for each topic will be covered. With that being said, I will only make a few common sense suggestions concerning methods for removing excess fecal material.

  • Colonic irrigation
  • Drink as much pure water as possible (a gallon a day would be optimum).
  • Use a natural laxative (try Triphala, an ayurvedic mix of Indian fruit available at your local health food store.)
  • Coffee enemas
  • Fiber, Fiber, Fiber (high fiber foods are best, especially flax seed)

Though there is no set rule, do whatever it takes to have a bowel movement everyday!

Think of this — everyday you go without having a bowel movement (poop du jour); you are carrying that waste around with you!!!

Turd (couldn’t resist!) Movement

Unfortunately, poop isn’t the only waste us humans carry around with us. Some of the most toxic sludge of all is trapped between our ears! That’s right, dear friends, “stinking thinking” is a cerebral impaction of worthless thoughts that can literally constipate the mind.

Remember, “As a man thinks, so he is.” Proverbs 23:7

If your mind is full of negativity, bitterness, arrogance, rejection, fear, anxiety, self-loathing or jealousy, chances are you are one miserable person. Because your thoughts stink, nobody wants to be around you for long!

Here is an amazing observation. For years, scientists, doctors, psychologists, priests, and spiritualists have argued about what part of the body is the “seat of emotions.” One believes it’s the heart, another the mind, another the liver, another the kidneys and still another, the intestines.

It sounds a bit like the “Five Blind Men And The Elephant” story to me!

  • The first man runs into the elephant’s side and says, “An elephant is like a wall.”
  • The second man with his arms wrapped around the elephant’s leg says, “An elephant is like a pillar.”
  • The third man holding the elephant’s trunk exclaims, “An elephant is like a snake.”
  • The fourth man holding the elephant’s tail says, “You are all wrong! An elephant is like a rope.”
  • And the fifth man grabbing the elephant’s ear says, “You are all mad! An elephant is like the sail of a ship.”

After the five blind men spent the better part of the day arguing, they decided to consult the village wise man. After each man explained his perspective of what an elephant was like, the wise man folded his hands and said, “Each of you is correct and each of you is wrong. Each of you touched a different part of the elephant so if you share your experiences with one another you will have a far better grasp of what an elephant is truly like.”

Here is the bottom line…an elephant is like an elephant…period. You, dear friend, are a human being with a complex system and your body is fearfully and wonderfully made by God!

If your intestines are toxic and impacted, then is causes toxins to back up into your system, which can affect the liver, kidneys, heart, brain etc. And the brain is so complex that chronic “stinking thinking” can make the body sick just as “unshakable faith” can heal it…

With that being said, does it really matter where the seat of emotions is?

We are far more than emotions. We are God’s crowning achievement of creation this side of heaven and He desires, above all things, that we would prosper and be in good health — even as our souls (thought, will and emotions) prosper. A prosperous soul will lead to a divinely healthy body.

“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” 3 John 1:2

Forth (forward) Movement (Letting go)

Freedom is a choice… whether it is you that achieves it or another provides it, a choice is made regardless.

The only bad decision is indecision you must decide to no longer empower “stinking thinking” and change your mind just like a mother must change her baby’s poopy diaper!

Change is within your power.

“We are demolishing arguments and ideas, every high and mighty philosophy that pits itself against the knowledge of the one true God. We are taking prisoners of every thought, every emotion, and subduing them into obedience to the Anointed One.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

It is imperative that you eliminate the toxic waste in your head —as well as your tail. Once it’s gone, it’s a dung deal!

“Yea doubtless, and I count ALL THINGS but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of ALL THINGS, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.” Philippians 3:8

constipated wasteYou have to let it all go! The apostle Paul rejected his former religious life along with all of his notable accomplishments, which he referred to those things as excrement…A WASTE OF TIME compared to the freedom he found in Christ Jesus his Lord!

Friend, you have no time to waste. If you are bound up, then it is time to let go of your constipated thinking, constipated diet and constipated decision making! Just let go and let God!

It’s the only way to go.

I hope this article pushed you in the right direction and made you chuckle, as well. Here’s to being “doodie free.”

Who knows, maybe you’ll start a movement!


Q. Have you seen the new movie, “Constipation?”
A. “It hasn’t come out yet!”


Q. How come Tigger never had any friends?
A. “Because he hung around with Pooh.”


Q. Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
A. “It runs in your genes.”




Michael TyrrellMichael Tyrrell, www.michaeltyrrell.com is the founder of the Network Center Inc., a not-for-profit, 501(c)(3) organization founded in 2001 which works as an advisory agency to local churches, faith-based ministries, Para-church ministries, schools, home fellowships and music ministries in connection with their outreach ministries or missions based activities.  Michael has been committed to training their key leaders and members to deliver the message of their Christian faith in order to reach the lost, the disenfranchised, the sick and the hurting through the organic roots of the Christian faith and other areas as needs arise.  Michael has been in full time ministry for the last 27 years and is a writer music producer and well known musician. http://michaeltyrrell.com




Pin It on Pinterest